A Woman’s Work is Never Done – Take Care!

I remember teasing my husband often about his extreme work ethics. He is the hardest working man I know and I mean that literally!  It seems though lately here that is becoming my truth. In the midst of raising a family, still working a 9-5, growing a business, holding a leadership role in my local church among other obligations; all I seem to be doing lately is work work work.  Now don’t get me wrong; I don’t mind working, but I also believe that there should be a happy median between working and resting.

Many of you have gotten the working part down to a science but the resting part is an entirely different story.  You wake up day after day seeing what challenges you will conquer for that day. Some of you may even welcome on new or more intense challenges to push you beyond your limits or comfort zone. I am all for it but what I want to remind you of is that you have to also schedule time to Take Care of the most important person in your life – YOU!  The old folks would classify a busy and much occupied person as one that would walk around like a chicken with their head cut off. Simply put; all over the place – doing any and everything you can get your hands into for the sake of being busy.

Staying busy and occupied used to be very popular among the single women community in an effort to stay preoccupied in creating the life they want and not waiting on the ring or man to have a fulfilled life.  However, now more than ever; women in general are staying busy and occupied. Women are becoming more action oriented and proactively pursuing their purpose and it is coupled with a sense of urgency and aggression.  Keep in mind that in addition to that; women are still taking care of things at the home front whether single or married and/or taking care of the affairs of immediate and sometimes extended family members.

Women are on a move and because we are moving at such a progressive rate; sometimes we forget to  Take Care! We go a million miles a minute and only slow down when we are forced to by way of our bodies telling us enough is enough, it is time to settle on down.

I know this was the case for me. I have been moving at the speed of lightening taking care of the extreme demands of my life, relationships and business and my body told on me so much so until my Doctor placed me on 2 days of bed rest. No, I am not pregnant and the last I heard typically, pregnant women go on bedrest for one reason or another during pregnancy. Needless to say, my Doctor said; be wise and Take Care of you. Wowsers right! That was a rude awakening for me and it doesn’t take me more than once to learn the lesson in something.

How many of you right now feel or are practicing by way of your actions that that you have to build your business, ministry or life in one day, week, month or year? Have you placed such a deadline on your life to whereas it is causing you to have too many sleepless nights or early mornings? Are you constantly caught between spending time with those who are nearest and dear to you and working on a project for your business or ministry? I get it – we are currently in space where work work work is what everyone seems to be talking and most of them doing right now. If you are not up all night working on a project or task then you may get left behind and won’t reach that 6 or 7 figure status that so many are talking about. If you are not working 40+ hours a week outside of your 9-5 and other obligations, then you are already slacking says many.

You have allowed the demands and deadlines of the world become yours. Did you know that your body was meant to rest? In fact, your body heals and restores energy only in a resting state. So if you are not getting the proper rest including sleep; you are doing an extreme disadvantage to your body and to those you serve.  Why? Eventually your body will give up or out on you and you will be forced to rest at time where you should be working.

Listen, one of the best things you can do for you and those you serve whether this is a community or your husband and / or children / family is to Take Care of you. If you are currently in this space and this has been a struggle for you more now than before; I want to share with you 4 Ways you can do this. Nothing deep but simple, profound and action oriented.

Take Care!

C – Categorize your priorities and stick to them. Everything nor is everyone a Priority. You should have list that consist of Priority 1, 2 and 3.

A – Access those who can extend help to you (personally or professionally) and delegate task to them. Stop being a Super Woman with limited Super Power. You are one person – Get Help! This can be leveraging family/friends to take on task or hiring a personal assistant if you are financially able.

R - Remember that Rome wasn’t built in a day nor will your life, ministry or business. I encourage you to take a rest day weekly and commit to it. This should be one of your weekly Priority 1 task.

E – Energy preservation. Don’t give so much of yourself until little to nothing is left. Be around people that will refill you and do things that will refuel and refresh you.

BONUS: Stop competing with yourself and Stop adding things to your already full plate. Say NO – it is a complete sentence. If it does not have anything to do with your purpose; don’t involve yourself with it, in it or around it.

If you have been guilty of not resting and need to get your life on track in categorizing your priorities; our 90 Day Goal Achievement Workbook is exactly what you need. This workbook will help you not only create and categorize your priorities aka goals but will help you to achieve them. Email us at jillandtreal@detourmovement.com to purchase yours today. Include in the subject line: I am ready to Take Care!

P.S. Meet us in Maryland for our 4^th Annual Conference. The theme this year is “Love On Top” Click HERE to learn more and register!

Treal Ravenel aka the Wife Coach

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10 Things You Can Do to Build Your Confidence, Credibility & Courage While You Wait on God's Promises Part II

If you have been following me on Periscope, you know that I have had signs of being perimenopausal with hot flashes and inconsistent menstrual cycles combined with negative pregnancy tests. For some women that may be something to shout about, but for a 35 years young woman, happily married with no kids but who desires kids; that just isn't a good look.

I went to my doctor last year, and he told me to come back with my husband a week later. Interestingly enough on our return visit; he said absolutely nothing. Okay in all fairness, he said: "if you want a baby, you can have a baby."  We both were like what in the H-E double hockey sticks is that?  Why is he saying that?  He suggested a second round of testing and no more info. We were left in the dark similarly to the situation Mary Magdalena found herself in when she rolled up on Jesus' tomb, and the stone was missing.  It was still dark when she arrived so she was literally in the dark and because Mary forgot Jesus' promise that He would die and rose on the third day; figuratively she was in the dark so she started panicking.

For my situation I was so much in the dark, I did not have enough information to even begin to panic.  Have you ever found yourself in a situation like that? Where things did not look good, you did not know what would happen next for you.  It may not be bringing forth a child, it could have been a missed period, and the scare of being unmarried and pregnant, or your son/daughter was supposed to be home or somewhere at a certain time and you had no idea where he/she was, or you got a call that your love one was just in an accident, or you suspect your boyfriend or husband was cheating on you and you saw another woman texting or DMing him; unsure of the details or what exactly what will happen next in any of these scenarios, you wee just left in the dark.

Finally this year, I went for my annual. I told my doctor about my husband, and I desire to get pregnant. He took all the blood test on me and told me to come back in a week. In a week, he told me my hormone levels were low.  He recommends yet another test which I have yet to get the results.

Currently, I find myself at a crossroad, having to decide who's report will I believe.

Will I hold on to the report from my doctor or will I exercise my faith muscle and walk confidently and boldly on what God said? God said my children will rise up and call me blessed. God made several promises to His children it isn't just for me; it is for the Kingdom.  In Exodus 23:26, God said that because we love Him and we serve Him and we worship Him, He will bless our provision; He will take sickness away from us, and we will NOT suffer miscarriage or be barren.  In Job 22:28, He said we will declare a thing, and it would be established! Lastly, He said His word SHALL NOT return to Him void.

Despite the initially panic Mary Magdelena experienced; when Jesus called her by name, by yelling "Mary!"  She knew what time it was. At first she did not recognize His voice but when He called her name; she knew exactly who had called her.  At that moment, I could only imagine she recalled the promise that the Savior who was born of a virgin mother, had to die on the cross and then rose on the third day to fulfill His assignment.

Because of this you and I have to be persuaded that there is absolutely nothing too hard for God. Know that the biggest tool at your disposal is knowing that you serve a God that is capable of doing the impossible! You serve a God who said if you simply ask, it will be given; if you just knock and the door shall be open; if you will seek and you should find. You serve God who says nothing is impossible for those who believe. 

Know that you serve a God who owns everything, so you have access to everything! So the fact reminds to have confidence, you must have FAITH.  You must have faith that He is exactly who He said He is and that you are exactly who He said you are!  Because of your bold faith, you will have favor with God and man.  Because of your faith, you will be courageous enough to ask for the things that you desire and you will receive them.

So the #6 thing You Can Do to Build You Confidence, Credibility and Courage is to increase your FAITH. (click here to read my prior blog from last month with the first five things).

6.) Faith is the best keep secret of having unshakeable confidence!

As I continue the conversation about building confidence and credibility, you have to know that your FAITH is your ability to believe in something whether that is your dream to buy a new house, your vision for a business, baby or a boo; it is so possible, and it will happen for you if you seek after your Father's business.  He promised you that if you seek the Kingdom of God and all of its righteousness ALL things will be added to you.

All you have to do is pray, obey and keep the right people around you. The latter is just as important as the first two things because the people you hang around will ultimately determine your destiny.

7.) You have to establish standards for all your relationships. Yes your relationship with Him but don't forget about your relationship with her. Having standards for what type of women you allow in your inner circle is just as important as having standards for the type of men you allow in your circle. You girlfriends are going to be the ones to either encourage you to pursue you dreams or discourage you by telling you; you are doing too much and wasting your time.  Make a commitment to be around people who faith is at least as big as your if not bigger.  Be around forward thinking, big-minded people and not people who can see beyond the edge of their plate.

When you are waiting for God's Promises to manifest in your life; just don't just sit there and wait for the promise because you don't know when it will manifest.  So don't you dare put your life on hold.  Start pursuing your passion whether that is to write a book, host a charity event, or even adopt a child.  Just go be great! It's your birth right!  So if you want to be a speaker or performer; you have to put in the work.

8.) Don't practice in front of a live audience. You likely heard it a million times before.  Prior Proper Planning Prevents Poor Performance.  Do you think Beyoncé would be where she is, if she waited until the day of or even the night before to start preparing for her performance? I am going to say absolutely not. Take time to prepare yourself for what you have coming up.  Don't allow yourself to be overwhelmed with this and that.  Remember, your life is like a plate, and you have control of what is placed on that plate and what comes off.  Take on less things and do each of them better so you can reach your fullest potential.

9.) Start where you are. No one who "made it to the top" started out that way. Everybody wants to take the elevator to success, but you have to take the stairs like everybody else.  Even when I think about the success, I had as a student-athlete who earned a full athletic scholarship. I started running in the second grade and by seventh grade I was competing on a high school level. I worked out countless hours sometimes twice a day to improve my speed. I ended high school being the 2nd fastest in the state of SC. I would not have achieved that type of success if I had started running in 12th grade.  That was nearly five to ten years of sweat and tears because the truth be told nobody wants to get that close and end in second place. Although I cried, I could not be mad at myself or God because that day, I ran the fastest time of my life so truly I had did my best and at the end of the day that is all you can do, your best. So continue aiming for the stars you may not get all of them, but you are destined to grab at least one.

10.) Get in the room with like-minded people!  Beside your faith, clarity and direction bring about confidence. Having clarity of who you are, where you are, where you are going and how exactly you are going to get there is key for you to thrive into your destiny.

Because community and clarity is so important for you to move in your assignment as a wife or a single woman who desires marriage, is one of the reasons why we are hosting the She's On F.I.R.E. Women Conference June 23-24, 2017 in College Park, Maryland.  This conference is for women who wants clarity and direction on their mission and vision as they wait for their Mr. Right and for those who are married and desire to maintain a healthy life and marriage.  Having a healthy marriage does not start after you get married or once you get married, it starts with knowing who you are and identifying your purpose and assignment here on this Earth.

The conference website is ShesonFIRE2017.com  You can inbox me on Facebook @JillBulluck for more information.

P.S. As part of our annual conference, we are looking to partner with fertility professionals and corporations who sell natural products.  Contact us via our website at detoumovement.org

P.P.S.  Click here to Get Part 1 with the first five things to build your confidence, credibility & courage

Jill Bulluck
Life & Dating Reinvention Strategist 

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6 Steps to Building Faith Under Pressure

Two weeks ago this Wednesday, I had the privilege of attending an intensive 2 hour workshop hosted by my good friend Adelai (Addy) Brown, Heart Coach with Be Blessed Daily. During our time together, we went through a series of exercises and activities all focused on trusting our own process.

Prior to signing up for the workshop, God was revealing so much to me regarding Ministry, business and my next move. It was so much at one time to the point that I begin to doubt the process. 

I was looking at all of these great ideas and things that God was giving to me to implement; from hosting workshops to creating coaching programs and so much more and honestly fear started to creep in. Mind you, not only was he giving me the idea but he was giving me intricate details. I found myself asking the questions as to why would God trust me with all of this? Little did I know that I was operating in a place of false humility. I know what God promised me through his word and I know what I have a right to so why would I ask why instead of simply trusting him? 

I realized that it wasn't that I doubted God more so, but I doubted the process. How many of you have been in this place in your life or maybe here right now? You may be on a relationship venture, you may be married, you may be attempting to play full out in your singleness, you may be in transition between starting a business or Ministry or even leaving your full-time employer, or you may simply be in a place where you are trying to tap into that person that God created you to be since the beginning of time. Jeremiah 1:5 says “Before I shaped you in the womb, I knew all about you. 

Before you saw the light of day, I had holy plans for you - A prophet to the nations -that’s what I had in mind for you.”  

You may not have the title “prophet” but you maybe a business owner, ministry leader or Kingdom Builder, Arthur, Speaker, Coach etc. All of those spaces can be vehicles where you are regarded as an inspired teacher or proclaimer of the will of God.  What Jeremiah was showing us is that God knew us before we even knew ourselves. God knew what processes we would have to go through in life in order to reach our next destination, in order to continue on the journey, in order to receive the expected end as it tells us in Jeremiah 29:11. Our life experiences are not foreign to God and God needs us at a place that regardless of what the process looks like, we are committed to building our faith under all the pressure.

Too often we allow things or people in our life to get us off course and these very same things and people can cause us to doubt our own process.  It is not about doing what everyone else is doing because they look like they are successful at doing it. It's not about trying different things to figure out what works for you and what doesn't. Let me tell you something about the process. It is not a trial and error run. When God gives you something, he strategically aligns himself with you. He knows exactly what you need and it can’t be compared to anyone else.

Your journey is so unique in nature to whereas noone has taken the exact same path that you have. Even though you may have experienced some heartache, hurt, pain, betrayal, rejection, abandonment or whatever else. I can guarantee you that no one story is the same as yours. For that reason, you have to trust your own process and be willing to occupy the place that God has just for you. There is a sound so loudly in my ear, now more than ever. I am like what they say, Woke - wide awake to my own process!

I understand that my process is necessary. There is no room for me to doubt. There is no room for me to have fear. There is no room for me to allow distractions to deter me. There is no room for me to follow or copy what everyone else is doing because my process is so different. There is no room for me to play it small.

There is a Giant within each and every one of us and that Giant is waiting patiently to be released but in order for that Giant to be released my sister, you have to get out of your own way and trust the process – Build Faith Under Pressure.

In case you may be struggling on what that may look like for you. I want to leave you with 6 Steps to Building Faith Under Pressure:

1.  Faith Works.  Under Pressure your faith is forced into the open and shows its true colors. Allow your faith to lead you. All you need is a mustard seed of faith, but I will encourage you to be like Abraham and establish great faith to the point that you shall not and will not be moved.

2. Play Full Out.  Don't try to get out of anything prematurely because you will only cause more harm than good. It is the way it is for a reason. It's taking the time that it is taking for a reason. Be okay with that. Be careful in trying to size your process up with someone else's process.  The shoe will never fit.

3.  Feed your Faith.  Allow that same Faith to do its work so that you become more mature, well developed and not deficient in any way. Don't allow your impatience, your discouragement, fear or doubt create deformities in your expected end.

4.  Ask for Guidance. If you don't know what you're doing or if you need more clarity and guidance, pray to the Father. God loves you so very much and he's waiting for you to realize how much you need him. He is standing waiting for you to place your petitions before.

5. Pray with the right intentions. Do not doubt or worry about anything. Don't be moved and don't be double-minded. The word of God tells us in James that a double-minded man is unstable in all of his ways, he shall receive nothing from the Lord. Read James Chapter 1 as encouragement for you to keep Building your Faith Under Pressure.

6. Do not allow the benefits or prosperity in itself to be the end goal. I can tell you that the benefits or prosperity can be temporal and fade away. In order to manage the benefits God has given you to manage, you will need to trust God and remain content. I like to look at my brother in Christ the Apostle Paul when he says in the book of Philippians “I know what it is to have much and I know what it is to have nothing that at all but in every situation I find myself; I know how to be content.” 

The book of Philippians is another great read in Building Faith Under Pressure.

I pray that these six tips help you to continue Building your Faith Under Pressure. John 16: 33 remind us that in this life we will have pressure, but be assured that God has already overcome the world. I say this to you my dear sister; be encouraged and implement the six steps as much as needed in your own process.  

If you enjoyed this blog and it resonated with you but you need more; we would love to schedule a FREE 1 on 1 coaching session with you.  You may feel like you need to go a little deeper in this conversation and we are certainly here for it. Click HERE to schedule your FREE 1-on-1 session with us today.

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Treal Ravenel

Wife Coach

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