Join the Discussion Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man

Most have heard about it, Many have read it and/or seen it and some are even applying it to their relationships...."Act Like A Lady but Think Like A Man" ...The book, the movie and the truth. What do you think??? A4J's Detour presents an Unplugged open discussion where we dispel the truth in an uncut, unedited one hour session....Join in Wednesday, January 30th live via conference by dialing 610-214-0000 access code 249802#. If you have any questions; please inbox them.
We encourage you to submit your questions early by visiting our Facebook Fan Page and sending us a message, or emailing abstaining4jesus@gmail.com or texting 619-602-6179 by 8pm on Wednesday, January 30th. We can assure you that this is going to be one awesome and much needed discussion and you will leave will clarity and understanding knowing the Truth.

Email Marketing You Can Trust

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Single & Ready to Mingle (Part II)

The question was asked in Part I “Why is it that when we experience dry periods; we don’t automatically turn to God?” The reason I have been told and also have experienced is because we are use to fighting our battles and being in control of our own situations and problems. Before knowing God or strengthening our relationship with Him; we took matters into our own hands and instead of having to trust or depend on someone else; we felt as if we were adequate enough to resolve our own issues. We had enough confidence in our self to rectify any catastrophic events that occurred. Trusting God or having faith the size of a mustard seed wasn’t on our agenda. Certainly God is real but allowing Him to take our life and do as He pleased was quite difficult especially when you are used to doing it on your own. But how many of us have tried doing it on our own and still left in the dry period with no answers and no way out. Once you realize that your life is going in circles; you have to figure out how to take advantage of that dry period in your life without once again abandoning God. I will list four ways you can take advantage of the dry period in your life that will not only help you turn to God but stay in close fellowship with Him. #1- Obedience: Spending time with God. As it is in the natural; so is it in the spiritual. You have to spend time with God to get to know who He is and to help strengthen your relationship with Him. Spending time includes reading your word, praying, meditating, fasting when necessary, fellowshipping with other believers etc; not five hours a day but giving God quality time. I hear some religious Christians go on and on of how many hours they spend praying, fasting or how they get up at the wee hours of the night or morning to pray. God isn’t so much concerned about quantity; He wants us to spend quality time with him; rather it is 5 minutes or 5 hours; He wants any amount of time spent to be worth your while. The same way we dedicate quality time to our work, families and having fun; we should do the same in our relationship with God. (Joshua 1:8; Isaiah 1:19)

 #2 - Consistency: Being constantly consistent in your walk. You have to make up in your mind that you will trust God wholeheartedly despite of what is going on around you. You have to be diligent in your walk and not allow external happenings to turn you away from God. We hear some of the old saints say that they had to keep pressing on. How true that is for us today; we have to keep pressing and know that our end will be better than our beginning if we remain consistent. (1 Corinthians 15:58; Ephesians 1:16)

                                          My little sister's track team Victory Shot after defeating
                                          a 21 year winning streak with several years of hard work
                                          and healthy eating from each team member & a great coach.

#3 - Determination: You have to make up your mind to stay on the straight and narrow and live within God's boundaries. You have to set limits in your life and know when to break away from certain things and people that will only cause you to astray from God. You can still have fun and live out loud but still maintain a healthy relationship with God. Be mindful of your conversations and be aware of red flags (signals you get from your inner self when making a choice or decision). Just because everyone else is doing it; that doesn’t mean that you should also. Know your limits and stay within them no matter what temptation may come your way. Your guaranteed reward is worth the wait. (Romans 8:18)

                                                         My son determined to get the weight
                                                         up.  You can do it Gee!

#4 - Accountability: Having an accountability partner is encouraged because you have someone looking out for your best interest. This person understands your walk and will do anything to make sure you don’t fall by the way side. This person will not encourage you to live your life as you please, but will ensure you are living a life pleasing to God. They know that this time in your life is crucial for growth and is willing to do anything in their power to see that growth take place. (James 5:16) Taking advantage of the try periods is all about will power; what are willing to do to experience God like never before? Giving God your all during this time is the best thing decision you can every make. I look at it as beating the odds and tearing down Satan’s camp. It's a win win situation and losing is not on the agenda. Until next time; continue to be blessed as you come out of your dry period!!!!

                                          One of my accountability partners from undergrad.
                                          I am not sure how I would have done it on my own.
  

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Single & Ready to Mingle (Part I)

We often hear people say "I am Single and Ready to Mingle".  We normally hear this after a breakup of some sort has taken place.  Prior to marriage; I quoted it quite often and was proud to be in this state of my life.  What exactly does that phrase mean?  

Well, I can tell you what it meant for me when I was physically single. That meant doing whatever I wanted, whenever and however; no boundaries and no permission. After all; I was young, independent and well established.  I created a life for myself and my son and as long as I was being responsible in taking care of us; so I thought I had the right to do what I wanted.  I was on a highway all by my single self.  

I knew of couples that were in bad relationships and marriages and would think to myself how lucky I was to finally be FREE from bondage, but what I didn’t know or understand is that being FREE didn’t literally mean that I was free from accountability.  See, I had it backwards; I thought being single meant that I was untouchable, unstoppable and unreachable, but that wasn’t the case at all.  

Being single was just that; being physically without another person (in a relationship).  I still however was accountable to someone and that someone being God.  Not only did I have a broken relationship with my ex husband; I also managed to form a broken relationship with Christ because I wanted to be Single – unmarried, lacking a physical partner.  I didn’t understand how one could be single and be sold out for God at the same time so I subconsciously made a choice; not by my words but by my actions.

All too often; we tend to take that phrase and literally live out its meaning not understanding the impact that it can have on our life.  I finally realized that my being single did not mean me gaining my independent power back, but it meant that it was time for me to refocus my life and strengthen my spiritual walk.  Yes; God allowed me to be in a Single state but not for the reasons I thought.  

He wanted relationship; reconciliation with Him (2 Corinthians 5:9).  Too often when we end one relationship; we immediately try to fill that void and either end up in another form of “relationship” by means of another part time mate, hobby or habit (normally not a good one).  But how much more beneficial and fulfilled our lives would be if when we experience a “broken relationship”; we automatically turn to God?  If we took that time out to refocus and strengthen our walk with Him vice being “single and ready to mingle”.  Not only will we be more equipped and focused in our next relationship with the opposite sex, but we will also gain supernatural insight and wisdom in other matters of our lives.   

We will become empowered and equipped to conquer everyday challenges and obstacles in another way. 

We can still live a little and have loads of fun but there are limits; there are boundaries.  We still have to remain accountable to someone.  God doesn’t want us to live a life of recklessness because we are in a certain physical state.  He wants us to receive ALL that He has for us rather single or married, and one way we can obtain those blessings is by taking advantage of the “dry” periods of our lives when we find ourselves in a disadvantaged physically, mental or emotional state.  What we consider bad or a problem can very well be an opportunity for God to demonstrate His love and care for us. So if this is the case; why is it that when we experience dry periods; we don’t automatically turn to God?  I am glad you asked.

Stay tuned for Part II of Single & Ready to Mingle!

Montreal D. Ravenel

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How to Get Over Your Past? Don't Look Back-Keep It Moving! Part 2

This is Part 2 of Don't Look Back-Keep It Moving! Part 1 can be found from 31 December 2012.
Part 2

4.) Seek Counsel: If you have experienced a death of a parent before adulthood, divorce or divorce of your parents, fatherlessness or any other type of lost/hurt from a long-term relationship, you would definitely benefit from talking with a licensed Christian counselor. When we experience these types of situations it leaves us feeling abandoned or rejected and causes fear and anxiety that it may happen again or that we are not worthy of someone’s love. This makes us sometimes needy and clingy. Divorce often leads to resentment, unforgivenesss and anger which makes it hard for us to communicate effectively with our loved ones, trust again and sometimes love again. Counseling oftentimes can be access through your local church or work at little to no cost. Find out your options today!

5.)Destroy Things That Still Tie You to Your Past: Oftentimes this comes into play with past relationships. So let’s go ahead and throw away: that shirt, hat, coat, shoes, bag, bracelet, card(s), picture(s) we have. If you have not been able to get over your ex, then let go of these things! Let it go and move forward!

 6.)Focus on you “Haves” Rather than “Your Have Nots”: Set your heart on all the blessings God continues to bless you with: good health, housing, clothing, love from friends or family, a job, a car etc. Who cares that the Jones’ just bought a new BMW 7 series. Your goal may be to get out of debt, not to purchase a liability for $60K to get in debt. Press towards the mark of what you have to do, not what other people are doing!

7.)Join a church and check out various ministries to see where God would have you to be: If you haven’t already, visit some local churches. The church that you keep wanting to visit and where the pastor seems to be talking to you every Sunday may be the church for you.

Pray and ask God for confirmation. If you are a youth/young adult under 23 years or not living with your parents, PLEASE make sure you join a church with a high energy youth group. If you are going with your parents, see if your parents will allow you to attend a weekly youth ministry meeting. This is a MUST! Parents if you are reading this, please make sure your teenage/young adult child is part of an ACTIVE youth ministry. Trust me! If you don’t know of any, email us, we will found one in your area!

8.)Start Working On or Preparing Yourself for One of Your most Important Goals TODAY!: A little less than two years ago, my girlfriend, Lady Shaunte made a challenge to all her radio listeners to start and complete a Spring cleaning and start working on something they have been wanting to do but had not. Be it a business venture, a book, a cooking or dancing class, etc. So I accepted the challenge and launched A4J and I have been moving forward with it every since. No one is perfect. We all have goals in our life. Know that we are all on our own timeline and comparing your life to what is going on to another person, will not get you any closer to your goal(s). Actually, it will move you further away from your goal, as you develop the feeling that life has treated you unfairly.

“WHAT GOD HAS FOR YOU, IT IS FOR YOU!” No one can take it away or intercept your blessings…NO ONE…As we all move on to a New Year, set your heart and mind on this scripture: Philippines 3:12-15 “Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me. Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” 

How will looking in the rear-view mirror get you closer to your destination? It won’t! At best you will have a wreck or in the case of life you will be a wreck! Press forward to what lies ahead!

Do not look back on your past, let it go!

God has great things in store for you! Be blessed Jill Bulluck I am A4J, DeToUrInG from the things of this World!

Jill Bulluck,
Founder of Detour Movement Inc.

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