Single & Ready to Mingle (Part I)

We often hear people say "I am Single and Ready to Mingle".  We normally hear this after a breakup of some sort has taken place.  Prior to marriage; I quoted it quite often and was proud to be in this state of my life.  What exactly does that phrase mean?  

Well, I can tell you what it meant for me when I was physically single. That meant doing whatever I wanted, whenever and however; no boundaries and no permission. After all; I was young, independent and well established.  I created a life for myself and my son and as long as I was being responsible in taking care of us; so I thought I had the right to do what I wanted.  I was on a highway all by my single self.  

I knew of couples that were in bad relationships and marriages and would think to myself how lucky I was to finally be FREE from bondage, but what I didn’t know or understand is that being FREE didn’t literally mean that I was free from accountability.  See, I had it backwards; I thought being single meant that I was untouchable, unstoppable and unreachable, but that wasn’t the case at all.  

Being single was just that; being physically without another person (in a relationship).  I still however was accountable to someone and that someone being God.  Not only did I have a broken relationship with my ex husband; I also managed to form a broken relationship with Christ because I wanted to be Single – unmarried, lacking a physical partner.  I didn’t understand how one could be single and be sold out for God at the same time so I subconsciously made a choice; not by my words but by my actions.

All too often; we tend to take that phrase and literally live out its meaning not understanding the impact that it can have on our life.  I finally realized that my being single did not mean me gaining my independent power back, but it meant that it was time for me to refocus my life and strengthen my spiritual walk.  Yes; God allowed me to be in a Single state but not for the reasons I thought.  

He wanted relationship; reconciliation with Him (2 Corinthians 5:9).  Too often when we end one relationship; we immediately try to fill that void and either end up in another form of “relationship” by means of another part time mate, hobby or habit (normally not a good one).  But how much more beneficial and fulfilled our lives would be if when we experience a “broken relationship”; we automatically turn to God?  If we took that time out to refocus and strengthen our walk with Him vice being “single and ready to mingle”.  Not only will we be more equipped and focused in our next relationship with the opposite sex, but we will also gain supernatural insight and wisdom in other matters of our lives.   

We will become empowered and equipped to conquer everyday challenges and obstacles in another way. 

We can still live a little and have loads of fun but there are limits; there are boundaries.  We still have to remain accountable to someone.  God doesn’t want us to live a life of recklessness because we are in a certain physical state.  He wants us to receive ALL that He has for us rather single or married, and one way we can obtain those blessings is by taking advantage of the “dry” periods of our lives when we find ourselves in a disadvantaged physically, mental or emotional state.  What we consider bad or a problem can very well be an opportunity for God to demonstrate His love and care for us. So if this is the case; why is it that when we experience dry periods; we don’t automatically turn to God?  I am glad you asked.

Stay tuned for Part II of Single & Ready to Mingle!

Montreal D. Ravenel