I come across women all the time who are in (or have been in) long term relationships but for one reason or another they have not gotten what they had hoped for from the relationship… which is long term love, and a healthy happy compassionate god-centered marriage. If this is you, I would say you fall in one of five main categories.
1.) You Haven’t Stepped Into Being the Best Version of Yourself!
This win the number 1 spot because once you step into the best version of who you are, understanding the source of your value and your worth, you will not settle for less than God’s best for your life. You will understand that greater is coming. You will understand that you can’t just take any man that shows up to your doorstep because you have to guard your heart, your mind, and your future. You understand that a relationship (and marriage) is more than physical intimacy… it’s about partnership and a ministry.
2.) You Are Dating a BOZO rather than a BOAZ
From my own past experience, and from observing others, it is fair to say that this is the #2 Reason the guy you are dating (or that you dated for years) has not put a ring on your finger! First let me start by describing what a BOZO says and look like. This is the guy that lies and cheat. He may be what I call “the Baller” who will try to buy your life by giving you money and paying your bills, but he does this for his own reasons and likely for other women as well. “The Baller” uses his money and/or his position as bait because he knows the women will come running. Another BOZO may be a guy that is very attractive and/or who is really good in bed. Just like the Baller, he uses his physical attributes to attract women and oftentimes women fall head over heels for this man. He shows up and calls when he wants to and returns your calls when (and if) he feels like it. The Final BOZO is the good guy. He is a genuine nice good but his values are not the same as yours. He has no problem going to church every Sunday and sleeping with you every day in between. Even as the good guy is still trouble because you find yourself attempting to choose between pleasing him or pleasing God.
3.) You Are Constantly Giving Up the Milk for FREE
You heard it a million times before “Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for FREE.” However, you still don’t get it or at least you are not practicing this principle in your life. In my book, “Be the Best Version of You: Dispelling the Lies and Uncovering the truth of a Fabulous You” I talk about the lie that sex will secure a relationship. Well let me tell you, I’ve studied thousands of independent cases from women all over the US including my fair share of sexual relationships, and it is very clear that sex alone NEVER secured the kind of long term healthy relationship that lasts. I have not found one woman who found a lasting marriage strictly through a sexual affair.
NEWSFLASH!!!!! IT IS NOT ABOUT THE SEX AND IT NEVER HAS BEEN!!!! THAT WAS JUST A LIE!
4.) You Were Not Honest with Yourself and/or the Man You Were Dating About What You Expected Out of the Relationship
Another mistakes women make in dating that keeps the man from putting a ring on it, is that you were not honest about your intentions. If you are not confident in who you are (or whose you are), you may shrink up instead of standing forth in the power that God has given you as a mighty child of the King. The truth is that you are perfect in His image just as your Father in Heaven is perfect and when you don’t put your standards and expectation clearly out there then you are not going to get the results you desire.
If you are in a relationship or want the best kind of relationship then it is not too late. Sign up for our audio “Making the Right Choice”. Then, write out all your standards and what you want out of a date or relationship. Be clear as a good Christian that the primary purpose of your dating relationship is for a god-centered marriage. Anything else, I am chucking up to FOOLISHNESS or a waste of time. If you are “too young” for marriage then avoid committing yourself to a boyfriend. Have friends, go on group dates and just enjoy life. This is the time you make it all about you and your God.
5.) You and/or the Guy Just Was/Is Not Ready for Marriage
The 5th reason is that either you or your present partner are not ready for marriage. I already covered this a bit when we talked about stepping into the best version of yourself but now let’s take a deeper dive. If either of you are still carrying hurt, shame, or the feelings of rejection or abandonment from a previous relationship (whether that was with the opposite sex, the same sex, or even a parent or friend), then you need to take a step back from the relationship and work on healing those old wounds so that you can take a healthier approach to your next relationship. It’s just foolish to try and commit yourself to show up 100% for someone else when you can’t even show up 100% for yourself! If your money is funny, you are not where you want to be in life, and more specifically you don’t have a clue where you are going in life or how to get there. When facing all this, it is foolish to be in a relationship as it will certainly fail and leave someone heartbroken. When you enter into a relationship, you should be whole (healed from past breakups and negative experiences), freed from the burdensome opinion of others, and clear about who you are in Christ. Both of you should be actively pursuing your goals with at least some understanding of what you what out of life. Of course as you evolve your goals will change, but if you don’t have a pot to… (you know what)… and you are still living with your mother and unsure how you are going to make your auto-insurance payment or some other bill, than the first order of business is getting you right.
At a minimum, these basic needs should be met: shelter, food/water, clothing and emotional stability. If you are not there yet; DETOUR from relationships and get on a good path to get you there!
If you are ready to invest in being o the best version of yourself and/or attract and keep a healthy happy relationship that will lead to marriage than I can help. Schedule a What's Next Session with Treal and I today by clicking here!
Just sign up for my free video training on how to become the best version of yourself that will be released October 15th, 2015!
I will walk you through the four most common lies women believe from my future best-selling book “How to be the Best Version of You”. After watching the video series, you will be able to dismantle all the deceptions that has prevented you from having the life and relationship you desire.
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