3 Things you can do right away to foster growth in your marriage!

I have spoken with quite a few wives who feel like their marriage isn’t growing.  The length of the time they have been married varies from 3 to 10 or more years.  Many of them feel more frustrated than free since the day they said I do. Some even feel like they have plateau in the marriage and not sure of what is next.

I have some good news for you. Growth takes time and it is intentional.  During the first 2 years of my marriage, I felt like many of you – like nothing was happening. I can only imagine what others are feeling especially those that have been married much longer. What I can tell you is that the growth in your marriage begins with you. It will not be an overnight process and it will take consistency on both ends.  Marriage is like a business and if you want it to grow and succeed; you have to show up every day.

If I asked the question right now “Do you show up every day”; how would you be able to answer that? We tend to show up daily for our jobs, our kids, our businesses and even ministry, but when it comes to our marriage; not so much.  Why is that? The very thing we want more from, we then to give less to.

Good News! Each day you, yes you can do things to contribute to the growth of your marriage.  That is why marriage is a lifetime because it truly takes a lifetime together to get this thing 100% right. Self-growth is often the norm rather than the exception and before you argue that you are perfect or close to it- do me one favor and measure your current growth. The truth of the matter whether you realize, admit it or not, some growth has already taken place.  It may not be as noticeable or desirable as you like but something has changed.  Now that I said that, am I right or am I right?

Sometime growth is stagnant or delayed because once you get to a certain level you stop doing what you have done to get to where you are.  You will never see a committed and active athlete stop working on improving themselves.  Regardless of how great they are they never stop improving to be even better. 

Whether it is you or your husband, someone needs to be the initiator and because you are reading this blog, I vote for you (smile). 

THE 1^ST ORDER OF BUSINESS TO ANY LEVEL OF CHANGE OR GROWTH IS REVIEWING YOUR MIND!  ROMANS 12:2 “Be not conformed to this world but be ye transformed by the reviewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, acceptable, and perfect will of God.” Renewing of your mind consist of you getting rid of your old way of thinking and adopting the mind of Christ.  You have to change your mind about your marriage and the man you married.  Philippians 2:5 “Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus.”  You can’t focus on all bad and expect all good to be the result.  If there are areas that need to be addressed; communicate them and work through them together.  In times of disagreements; renewing your mind will help you to see that neither is right or wrong but both may have a different way of looking at things and handling them. Guess what? There is nothing wrong with that and can be used as an advantage and strength to your marriage if you allow it.

THE 2^ND ORDER OF BUSINESS IS YOU NEED THE HOLY SPIRIT TO BE YOUR GUIDE THROUGH IT ALL! When the Holy Spirit is at work within you, you will be aware of your sin in your life that is affecting your marriage.  You will be able to clearly identify what is wrong and what you need to do or change to make it right.  It is ok if at first you don’t succeed, simply try try again.  Try as many times as needed.  Failure doesn’t mean there is no progress; it just means there is still room for improvement.

THE 3^RD ORDER OF BUSINESS IS TIME! Getting upset or mad when you don’t see things happening right away further delays the process - doing so will cause you to neglect or ignore the change that has taken place.  He who began a good work in you, will carry it onto completion until the end and that includes the work started in your marriage.  If God started the work in you; you committed to renewing your mind; the Holy Spirit is leading you then know that it is all a matter of Time before you can clearly see the growth happening in your marriage.

Doing these 3 things is so important for you as a wife in helping foster growth in your marriage and this is why we are hosting the She's On F.I.R.E. Women Conference June 23-24, 2017 in Beltsville, MD.  The conference is for women who want clarity and direction on their mission and vision as they wait for their Mr. Right and for those who are married maintain a healthy life and marriage.  Having a healthy marriage starts with knowing who you are and identifying your purpose and assignment here on this Earth.

The conference website is ShesonFIRE2017.com.

You can inbox me on Facebook @TrealRavenel for more information.

P.S. As part of our annual conference, we are looking to partner with fertility professionals and corporations who sell natural products.  Contact us via our website at detoumovement.org.

Treal Ravenel aka the Wife Coach