I remember being in the bookstore a
few years ago as I was looking for another book on how to breakthrough my
singleness journey of dead end relationship after dead end relationships so
that I could finally get to the other side. It was at that moment when I saw a
book with this title “If You Want Closure, Start with Your Legs” that title cut
me like the Word, it felt shaper than a two-edge sword.
I had been dating this guy from my
college. Being that I had come from a history of guys who smoked, drank
and sold dope while spending most of their time in and out of jail; meeting
this guy who was a grad student in the Engineering program, I thought, “This is
it”!
Although the packaging was
different, the elements of the relationship remain the same. Just like my
previous relationships, he cheated on me and his life did not reflect Christ
just like the previous relationships. The straw that broke the camel’s
back was when I saw douche under his bathroom cabinet and he said it belonged
to his sisters. Then he told me to stop asking about it because even if he cheated
I would stay. I knew at that point, this had gone too far and he had
absolutely no respect for me and really I did not have any respect for myself
for that matter. I had no idea how, but I knew something had to give.
There were 3 critical things that freed me from these types of relationships.
1.)
I Prayed. Psalms 103:12 says
“As far as the east is from the west, So far has He removed our
transgressions from us. I not only asked God to separate my
transgressions of sleeping with a man that was not my husband, I asked him to
remove the man who participated in it with me, and the lustful desire that led
me there in the first place. So I say to you my sister, pray and ask God
to heal your broken-heart.
2.)
I Kept My Legs Closed which
required me to stop seeing him all together. I know as long as I kept
engaging in a sexual relationship with him, that I would never be able to walk away.
I had to let go sexually before I could let go emotionally. Again I say, if you
want closure, start with your legs. Once
you close your legs, renew your mind and your heart will follow.
3.)
I Sought Out Godly
Relationships. The truth of the matter is that all along I wanted love,
but I found lust that began to tear at the fabric of the woman I wanted to
become. I wanted companionship, healthy communication, true love, fun and
God in my relationship. Too often as women we seek out a man where we
should be seek out our sisters. When breaking off a relationship where
you have had a very close relationship, you are going to need emotional
support. You are going to need an outlet in a safe space where you can
cry, laugh and live. Let yourself cry about it once then move on.
When you get the urge to cry, go to the thorn of grace and mercy and ask God to
take the desire of wanting to be in a relationship that is not serving you of
God, away from your heart and mind. Saturate yourself with the things of
God. Stay intimately connected to your Heavenly Father and your friends.
Jill Bulluck
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