So someone from our community asked the question, how do you know if a guy is a Mr. Right versus a Mr. Right Now? So I created this vlog to response to this question. This may seem obvious to some but for me I settled for a Mr. Right Now on many occasions because I never took the time to define exactly what a Mr. Right look like for me. When I did, that made it crystal clear. Within 30 days of doing that, I was able to identify the man God had appointed to my life. I had met him five (5) weeks prior but once I had the written criteria coupled with verbal and visual indications from him, I could see he was my Mr. Right! There were several attributes that helped me identify him. Here I will share the top seven (7) signs.
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No. 1 He/She loves God and submits to God's Word. That is so important. It is not an accident this is number one. Understand we are talking about courtship that leads to marriage and it is a covenant relationship. In a covenant relationship, you will have to submit to the other person. Often times we focus on the wife having to submit to the husband which is true, but men have to submit to Christ and they have to love their wives as Christ loved the church.
No. 2 His/Her purpose for dating should be to find a wife (or husband for the guys). So listen, if you are not out their asking specifically what is your goal in a dating relationship, you are missing your life! It is running!!! Go get it! LOL
No, seriously, be sure to write this question down, "What is your goal in a dating relationship at this time"? Put this question in your iPhone, android or where ever. You should ask this question on date # 1 no later than date # 2. And be sure you know the answer to this question for yourself.
If you are in high school or college age or younger reading this blog, than you should be having group dates and not getting too serious in a relationship. Spend this time understanding what you like and what you don't like, trust me on this!
No. 3 He respects your decisions and does not attempt to do or say things that will pull you away from God. Likewise with her. I wrote a book called Sexless Single | How to Stay Sexless in a Sex Filled World! And I wrote this book because so many Believers want to be celibate but they struggle with how to actually live that out each and every day especially when dating and when faced with temptation.
One of the things I find to be true is that you cannot be with a partner who does not respect your decision to be celibate. If you are with someone who does not respect your decision, he/she will try to pull you in to an intimate or sexual experience. That is disrespectful! If you are in a relationship like that or if you are in a relationship with someone who does not have the same goals that you have, get out! You are not aligned! Or as the Bible says it, you are unequally yoked!
No. 4 He/she is financially independent. This means (s)he is not living with his mama. OKAY! He does not have more money on his back then he has in the bank. You need to ask questions!
Do you have a 401K? Do you have TSP? Do you have a Roth IRA? What percentage are you contributing into that each month? Are you putting in the minimum match? How much are you saving per month? How much is your car note? Are you renting or buying? How much credit card debt do you have?
I recall Clefo Dollar had a sermon and he gave some relationship advice and he listed dozens of questions to ask and at the end he said, "You need to know" and that is exactly what I am telling you right now. You need to know the answer to these questions to see if you and the person you are dating have similar goals and aspirations.
The reason behind the above questions are because you want to make sure (s)he is financially independent. You do not want to date someone who is living with their mama. Let me qualify that. Let's say, he is living with his mother, hold on, I can't qualify that, let's say he has a roommate.
When I met my husband, he had a roommate, he was renting a room. On the other hand, he had a car, he had a good paying job/ really a career and he choose to have a roommate to save money and because he is frugal if I can just be that honest ;-) You need to find out why he does not have his own place. Is it because he can't afford to have his own place or is it because he is paying out of debt and/or saving to buy a house? And a lady likewise. Again you need to know!
No. 5 He shows compassionate towards your children. She shows compassionate towards your children. Dude, if you have a daughter and she comes over every weekend, your partner has to respect that. If she does not like it, you already have a conflict, move on!
I am just saying, God wants to give you a million dollar mate, stop wasting your time with these hundred dollar mates and five dollar mates.
No.6 She makes sacrifices on your behalf. Certain things he does not do because you don't approve of it. Or it may make you upset or it may make you uncomfortable. That is not coming from a place of control and should not conflict with priorities with your family and your job. Like you going out with your friends to the club for example. Or on the flip side, it could be that your partner does something for you, to make you happy.
I remember one time, I got upset with my husband when we were dating because he did not have any pictures of me or us on his Facebook page. Don't judge me, you know Facebook is serious now-a-days...
So to make me happy he posted a picture of us, You may say that is petty but it was important to me. To me that was him publicly confessing and professing his love for me and he knew it meant a lot to me so he made that sacrifice for me.
No. 7 He has/ she includes you in their inner circle. You met the mom, you met the best friend, you know his people. If you have been dating him for six months and you don't know his people, HOUSTON, we have a problem. As you go forth, be sure to applied these dating principles to your life and really just your day to day decisions, pray and ask God to give you wisdom and discerning spirit so you can hear His voice and live your best life now and attract God's best for your life!
If you enjoyed these dating tips and want more Christian relationship advice and dating advice, then be sure to join our email list and join the 7 Day Sexless Single Challenge by click here.
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