The 10 Commandments to having Great Relationships!!

Many of us have or have had relationship goals at some point of our life. We think of the day when we're going to be able to spend the rest of our life with that special someone and live happily ever after. I know I did and for a long time that was my focus. I would only hope and dream and wonder what the rest of my life would be like with me sharing it with someone I loved so deeply. 

What I fell to realize for a long time is that having a special someone in your life forever, takes a lot of work. And the work does not start when you get into a relationship with the other person. In fact, the work starts with your relationship with God.

I want to take just a few moments of your time to share some tools with you on how you can put in the work so you can have great relationships.

From a small child as long as I can remember, I've always had a relationship or had an understanding of who God was, but I did not always have a close relationship with him to the point of allowing him to lead my life. So in desiring to have a relationship with another person, I had to come to grips that developing a strong and committed relationship with God was first priority. It would set the stage for every other relationship that would come after that.

I had to allow God to be in total control of my life and my daily decisions and I had to also learn how to submit to his will for my life and not my own. I had to learn how to become discipline anf implement self-control and consistency in my relationship toward him.

Now the next part is where the rubber meets the road. And from my own life and from what I've witnessed in the lives of others; this part seems to be the hardest of them all and that is the relationship with yourself. Many of us get to the point where we have the relationship with God down to a science but when it comes to us developing and growing a relationship with ourselves, that is where we sometimes fall by the wayside. Many feel like because they have a strong relationship with God then they automatically have a strong relationship with themdelf but that is so far from the truth. When developing and working on a relationship with yourself, you have HUGE part to play in the process.

You have to be honest with who you are and be able to go to God in complete vulnerability and honesty and asking him to show you you. In your quest to really finding out who you are and in uncovering all of the deepest things about yourself, you have to be ready and willing to put in the work to begin growing, developing and transforming.  The best and most effective thing you can do for the love of your life one day is to constantly become a better version of Who You Are.  Your relationships will only be as good as you so it behooves you to always work diligently in this area.

You have to be open and true and asking God to show your attitudes, your moods; your self-righteous and quirky behavioral patterns. Your past hurt and pain that is still affecting you, the emotional barriers and baggage that you still have, deeply rooted mentally, emotionally and psychological issues that still have you in bondage, the borders and boundaries that you have  put in place to block out other people because of your own internal insecurities and the list goes on. The benefit of you doing this is that you will not carry these things over into your long-term relationship and marriage. This will be more beneficial for you, your partner and your current or future children.

After you've done your spiritual work and your personal growth work then and only then are you ready and able to be in a relationship where you can love someone unconditionally.  Then and only then can you build the foundation of a solid relationship and being able to not only exist together but grow together cohesively, now having a firm and secure foundation.

Hopefully you will be able to take what I said throughout this blog and what I'm about to give you and apply it to your life regardless of your current relationship status. Even those of you that are already married or in a long-term relationship, it's never too late to go back to the root. It's never too late to rebuild the foundation of your spiritual and personal life.

I want to leave with you The Ten Commandments to having Great Relationships:

I. Honor God with your first fruits and with the substance of all thine increase. God gets and keeps the first part of you.

II. Your body is God's temple, treat it as such. Honor God with your body by the decisions you make every single day.

III. Continue contributing and growing your current relationships by applying these things written throughout this blog.

IV. Cleanliness is next to godliness; practice such in your singleness, so you can transfer it into your marriage. And when I talk of cleanliness, I'm not talking only about externally but internal cleanliness; your thoughts behaviors and attitudes.

V. Get rid of selfishness. Willingly share what you have with those who are part of your life.

VI. We serve a God of compassion and as a Kingdom citizen; we should implement that same attribute toward others.

VII. Know, understand and practice the fruit of the spirit Galatians 5 22-23. Implement these into your life and relationships every single day.

VIII. Get rid of fault-finding and practice grace and forgiveness. Forgive because God first forgave you.

IX. Choose to love those in your life the way God loves you and read and meditate on 1 Corinthians 13:1-10.

X. Stay true to yourself. Be honest with who you are and be okay & accept that there is always room to grow.

Bonus: Healed  people help heal others, get healed!

If you implement these things into your life and current relationships, you will begin to see tremendous transformation take place. Remember, the greatest thing you can do for your relationships is to first have a solid relationship with God and then have a solid relationship with yourself. You will be fooling yourself to think that if you don't work on these two areas first, you will have great relationships with others. In fact the opposite is true. 

Love you sis,

Treal Ravenel

P.S. For those of you who are single and you are committed to the growth work process, I want to offer you free gift. This free gift speaks directly to establishing healthy relationship goals and I know that it will support you even the more on your journey of having great relationships.  Grab your free gift HERE.

P.S.S. Be on the lookout for the release of Jill's next book: Sexless Single